Man. Today is feeling rough. My kiddo is having a tough time, learned the hard way last night that money does not, in fact, grow on trees, and it made him spiral a bit. I, on the other hand, have finally decided to start therapy next week, so we will see how that all goes. It’s a bit like feeling on the edge of a precipice and not knowing how far or hard I’m going to fall, and hoping that I can guide my son while I do it. I know I need to be strong, but I am so tired of having to be that person sometimes.

That being said, I’m also glad that he knew he could talk to me about it. That he knew I was a safe space for him. I always worry that maybe one day, he won’t think so, but I think I did a good enough job that he knows and I felt that last night when he text me to tell me his woes. He is a good kid and I hate that his brain sometimes tells him that he isn’t. It’s hard, managing that. I want him to maybe start therapy again, but I also don’t want to overwhelm him with things that might be too much when he is already vulnerable as it is. I know he can do the hard things, but should he have to? How much of it do I take on for him? At what point do I go “ok, now you have to fly on your own”? This parenting thing is hard work.

Hoping that this weekend gives me some reprieve from the intensity of life lately. There has just been SO MUCH happening that it’s becoming exhausting instead of easy.